“Forever Fading Away” (Part 24)

I bellowed in deep despair furious and frightened, so disappointed, so bewildered, so jaded to the point I was at the end of my tether. I was nonplussed that I could not say one word. Victimized by one’s own self, my mind made up such a preposterous story to match my current situation. My identities took over my life; they have ruined me and left me in a situation to wallow in broken memories, with no original authentic experience in wisdom, nature, love, or serenity. I have transformed into this unknown, losing myself as an independent being. The tears uncontrollably developed in a meticulous manner that my body ended up having a peculiar reaction. My breathing became rapid and shallow, I was viciously gasping for air. I can hear the commotion around me of everyone as the room starts to get dark. “Oh my god Lucy!” Latoya yelled out. “Everyone try to remain calm she’s just hyperventilating, we just need to gently talk her down, someone talk about your favorite times with her,” Dr. Shelton says. Then I hear Officer Puerile speak, “Oh Lucy, do you remember the first time went out on a date? We all double dated Latoya and Vincent wanted to check out this new club downtown, you were so timid you kept calling me Officer Puerile. We talked for hours on end that is until Latoya and Vincent ruined the party wanting to leave.” I hear Officer Puerile speak as I became weak, my body felt as if it was sinking down and all the life was being dragged out of it, and the room fades into this thick darkness and everyone’s voices become more of an echo drowning out into no sound at all. 

The darkness changes to a grayish light then it gets even lighter like I’ve stumbled into some sort of tunnel. I can see something as I walk towards the end. It was two figures in the light one smaller than the other, shaped like normal human beings. As I came closer, the light transformed into my old bedroom and one of the figures was my mother and she was sitting at the edge of my bed reading to a little girl. “Hi Lucy, don’t be scared it’s me Jessica, you’re in a memory of us when mommy use to read us the book about dreams, come and sit with us. Tears instantly formed in the wells of my eyes as they focused in upon her. I haven’t seen my mother in over twenty seven years. “Mommy?!?” I cried out. “Oh Lucy, sweetie I’m so sorry I couldn't be there, I’m sorry I couldn't help you when you needed your mother. I wish I could undo what has been done.” And at that moment falling into her arms, I felt protected safe and loved, and I haven’t felt that way in a very long time. We laid on the bed Jessica my mother and me, holding each other until Jessica and my mom fell into an eternal sleep.  

Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle...

Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H

The Apology Video (Part 23)

Mesmerized at what was viewed I froze with a mixture of panic, concern, and confusion… “Lucy are you alright?” Dr. Shelton asked. The room was blanketed with silence. I can feel the pressure of everyone as they stare in curiosity of my next move. “Do you have any questions?” Dr. Shelton asked. “I’m not meeting everyone in this room for the first time am I?” “No. You’ve met everyone here before. I asked everyone to come here for an exercise I wanted to do with you. I want you to look at everyone and tell me what you remember of each person starting with Latoya; it’s alright if you get something wrong. “Ahh, Latoya you and Vincent are married?!?” “Yeah we are, four years now.” Latoya replied. “And Vincent you and Officer Puerile are brothers?” Officer Puerile chuckled a bit. “What’s funny, am I incorrect?” I asked. “No. You’re correct we are brothers.” Officer Puerile says. “Then what’s so funny?” I asked. There was a quick silence that came over the room with Officer Puerile’s pause. “What?!?” I asked with eager anticipation. “What do you remember about me?” Officer Puerile asked. “You were the officer that watched over the neighborhood I live in, well lived apparently, I’ve been here three years.” “You don’t remember anything else?” Officer Puerile asked. “Shelia McKinley. Is she real?” Dr. Shelton answered my question with a question. “What do you remember about her?” My emotions took over as I cried out “She was my friend and I don’t know what happened to her?” Dr. Shelton then walked back to the monitor. “I want to show you one more video this video should answer any question about Shelia.”  

In the video I see myself sitting in a chair faced to the camera, very poised and excited, very eager to talk. I hear Dr. Shelton speaking to me from a distance. “I want you to introduce yourself to Lucy and tell her who you are and what you know about Shelia. I also want you to allow the others to explain.” “Even Angelina?” I asked, Dr. Shelton replied. “Yes, even Angelina.” “Okay your call, you know how she gets.” “Christy, the purpose of this video is to guide Lucy through to the truth so that you all can be on one accord.” “Alright?!? Don’t say I didn’t tell you.” “Go ahead and speak.” Dr. Shelton says. “Hi Lucy, I’m Christy English, as in your eighth grade math teacher. Mr. English oh my god we had such a crush. Anyway, we actually speak all the time, we have that mother daughter relationship oh and by the way we are in desperate need of a relaxer plus a Medi/Pedi because these nails are horrible. I want to say to you that it’s been a pleasure and honor keeping us together, we’ve made it through some ruff times but we’ve had some good ones too. Like meeting James, I’m really sorry how things turned out. James seems like the prince in shinning armor. Anyway, enough of that I’m here to talk to you about Shelia McKinley. Shelia kind of grew on you, she was quite the stuck up little snob when you first met her, all she did was talk, talk, talk mostly about herself until she grown tired of course and ran out of things to brag about, and that’s kind of when you guys became fairly close. Well that is until Marcia noticed that…” Then I suddenly changed personalities. 

Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle...

Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H

“Unveiling The Lies” (Part 22)

In the video, I’m looking at Latoya in her casual attire fumbling through the different files as Dr. Shelton is speaking. “Alright Marcia, I wanted to introduce you to Mrs. Harris, she’s been appointed your counsel by the courts, to make sure you have a clear understanding of your legal situation and the charges that are against you.” “Yeah I remember, so who do you want to talk about first?” Latoya seemed a little hesitant at first. “Ahh, well let’s start with the first two victims Jasmine and Yasmine Richardson 27 years of age, never married, no children. Yeah I remember them, the quote un quote medical students, a bunch of rich party girls living off their daddy’s money. Steven and his buddy met them at some local bar not too far from the college, a month after that Venice Beach incident. So we kinda decided Christy should take over a while you know, to make sure Lucy took care of herself. During that time, Christy found some pretty compromising pictures if you know what I mean, of Steven and the twins. They knew he was married but they didn’t care. Word got back to Angelina, and Angelina went psycho on they ass. She found the gun Steven kept in his night stand, managed to get the twins to meet her out in the woods by the interstate, then shot them, but she didn’t kill em. She left them alive so that they could feel the pain from her cutting off their limbs one by one, then scattering their body parts in plastic bags all over Atlanta.” 

Latoya had a look of disappointment as she continued to question me “What about the third victim Cathy Hamilton, 29 years of age, no children, never married…” “Yeah, yeah I remember her too; she was a dental assistant of Steven’s buddy.” “Okay, tell me what happened you were found with her body at a dog park.” Latoya says. “Correction, Angelina was found with her body, I ain’t got nothing to do with that.” “Well you knew about it and you didn’t report it so you’re an accessory to murder.” “Geese man, look Lucy had been depressed after she found out Steven was cheating on her, so Christy took over again for few months you know. During that time Jessica found out that this chick Cathy been messing around with Steven to. Well Angelina got peed off and goes to confront this chick at her job, finds out Cathy knew Steven was married.

So Angelina went psycho again she strangled the girl with a cord, and then stabbed her neck with a broken glass bottle.”

Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle...

Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H

“Getting Down To The Truth” (Part 21)

And there I go again, being apprehensive as if the channel had been changed on me, my voice spoke in an older but still juvenile tone that sounded almost like a rebellious teen. “Why does age always have to matter? If you must know I was nine and I had already started my period my mother said I was becoming a woman early.” “How long did your step brother molest you Lucy?” “Why does every one say that? He was not molesting me geese! He loved me. He was the only one who loved me.” “And why do you say that Lucy?” “My step father abused me!” “I thought you said he was very loving to you?” I saw tears fall down my face as I explained how my step father was and all that he had done. “Where was your mom when this was going on?” Dr. Shelton asked. “She was working late as always.” “Did you inform her of what was going on?” “I couldn’t. My step father said he would kill her, one time he was waiting on her to come home from work sitting in the living room with a shot gun. I remember because I couldn’t sleep that night, my stepfather had raped me and I was hurting.” “Did you tell anyone what your dad did?” “I told my step brother and he said he will help make the pain go away and he did.” “So how long was this going on with you and your step father?” And yet my demeanor and voice changed again this time I sounded like a little bit older I with an accent and angry. I jumped up out of the seat walking away from Dr. Shelton yelling.

 “Why do you want to know that?!? You want a piece of this to? You sound like that freak lady doctor Mrs. Gregory. I’m sick of people asking me all these damn question about my family?” “You don’t think anything was wrong with what your stepfather was doing?” Dr. Shelton asked. “The bastard was a sick perverted individual. He was pissed because her mother was working late all the time to cover bills he created….” “Wait what do you mean, her mother was working late?” “I didn’t say that, I said because our mother, I mean my mother…” “No you meant it. Who are you? What’s your name? Dr. Shelton asked. “I hesitated speaking out how could you tell? We look so much different.” “I think you wanted me to know, I think that’s the reason why you’re talking to me instead of Lucy.” I hesitated again then sat down and introduced myself. “I’m Angelina.” My mouth dropped. I was just talking to Angelina a second ago before she was taken. This can’t be. “Nice to meet you Angelina, I take it you didn’t like Lucy’s stepfather?” “No, I hated him. He was a bastardo enfermos!” “And what does that mean?” “It means he was a sick bastard! He repeatedly raped her. You know one time he had her watching porn with him so she would know how she was supposed to be.” “Why didn’t Lucy tell her mother what was going on?” “Are kidding me?!? Clark threatened to kill her mother. Something was wrong with that man; you know he fought in the Vietnam War. He had pictures of him standing over all the people he killed like those hunters when they kill deers. There was a time when Lucy caught a ringworm in between her legs; her mother beat her with an extension cord cause she said her dad gave it to her, poor thing. It was her stepfather’s idea to use a freaking extension cord anyway. The bastard got what he deserved though!” “Which was what? Lucy and her step brother killed him, made it look like self-defense. It kind of caught up with them later. It was some female detectives snooping around on the case, after Lucy was raped in California. I thought you knew that?” “No. I didn’t know.” Dr. Shelton said. “Did you know about her husband?” “Yes I knew Steven arranged the rape in California.” “You must haven’t talked to Christy yet… am I the only one you talked to? Wow, well let me let you in on something Doc, her husband Steven, is her step brother…” 

Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle

Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H

“Videos Never Lie When It's In Your Own Words” (Part 20)

At that moment I could barely move.  I laid there crying profusely as I listen to Angelina, someone who knows nothing about me explain how my life‘s tragedy started, and how because of the rape I’m unable to be impregnated. Never could I imagine someone let along Steven my dear sweet devoted husband, would do such a thing to his own wife. All this time of thinking we were getting through this horrific ordeal, when in fact he created it. And as I continue to pay more attention, Angelina gives me another bit of shocking news. “I heard Jesús and his friend arguing; Jesús found out his friend fell in love with the woman they raped. He wanted to go and find her. He had stolen her ID and found out that she resided in Chicago, but something happened and she moved to Atlanta.” She hesitated a moment before dropping this bombshell information. “Lucy, I found the woman’s ID in Jesús’s pocket. The woman is you.” My heart dropped; stunned would be an understatement of my reaction to what was stated. “I came here to Atlanta to warn you, that was me calling your home and Jesús found me right when I tried to visit you at the Went Worth Psychiatric Care. Before he brought me here, I escaped and tried to call you again and that’s when I found out Jesús’s friend took Shelia. He kept saying, “I‘m not gonna let her leave out of my life like that.” “Oh my god, it’s Andre!” 

Then suddenly bright lights are shut on; I can feel my arms regaining strength as the door opens. “Who are you talking to Lucy?” Andre says while continuing to walk closer towards me. “You?!? It was you?” I stated. “It was me what?” He asked. “Angelina just told me!” “Who is Angelina? What are you talking about?” He said. “Angelina! Was Jesús’s friend named Andre?!?” I yelled out! “What are you doing? There’s no one down here but you!” Andre says, as he’s sitting me up. “You really have gone crazy,” he stated. Then I hear Jesús. “Someone call my name?” speaking while entering the room. I yelled out, “Where’s Angelina? You did something to her! Where is she?” “Lucy calm down, we’re taking you to her right now, damn!” Jesús says as he and two other guys dressed in the same green outfits, help Andre lift me up, strapping me to a wheelchair. “Seems like she gets worse as the days draw near,” Andre says talking to Jesús. We exit out of the room, and they roll me up what seems to be a corridor, where the lights are so bright I can barely make out my surroundings. There are people around wearing masks all looking to be doctors and nurses, where am I?

Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle...

Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H

Facing My Problems (Part 19)

I’ve never seen Andre look so dreadful. His attire worn was an exact replica of what he had on the night he assaulted me; his pants are horribly soiled from the knees down. He looks as if he had been slumming it the past few days. “What’s wrong Lucy, don’t you miss me? And who the hell is this?” Andre yelled. “Stay calm Lucy” detective Puerile said. “Shut the fuck up!” Andre says while swinging the gun directly in detective Puerile’s face. “Let’s go Lucy!” Andre grabs my arm then twists it behind my back, forcing me to back up into him as he makes his escape. “You follow me and I’ll kill the bitch, then I’ll come looking for your ass just for making me kill her!” Andre says speaking to detective Puerile. He pulls me into this old red beat up Mercury Cougar through the passenger side door. He then scoots over to the driver’s side; he holds the gun to the side of my head as he screams, “Shut the door!” the car had nerve enough to have the windows tinted. The tires screeched as he quickly shifts gears out of reverse into drive and we sped off leaving the safe part of my world behind. And out of nowhere I feel a cloth over my face with hands attached to it pressing up against my nostrils forcing me to inhale this sweet smelling…

I awake to a voice whispering out, “Hey… Lucy wake up! Wake up!” The room is low lit, there was some sort of foul smell roaming through the air, the walls were dark gray and dilapidated, and the floor was a mixture of dirt rocks and concrete. It resembled the look of the hotel in my reoccurring dream the moment I went back looking for my brother. There was a door I couldn’t tell from the dimmed look, but it seemed like a cellar door of some sort.  “Lucy! Wake up… please wake up!” The voice I heard was of female calling my name, but I see no one. “Please Lucy, please wake up!” I didn’t respond right off, my attention was on my surroundings. I had been left to lie on a grimy damped mattress that was placed on the floor. My clothes were ripped apart and soiled, my body ached and it seems I have blood coming from a cut on my lip, along with bruises and scrapes all over my body. “Please Lucy, please wake up.” I continued to hear her voice as I curl up into a fetal position, terrified of the uncertainties of what may lie ahead. Am I hallucinating again? Am I really hearing someone call out to me? The woman’s voice that I hear has an accent of Hispanic race. “Lucy, please…, please wake up. I need someone to keep me sane,” she cried. “How do you know my name?” “Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank God you’re alive!” She cried out. “Are you hurting, can you move?” she asked. “I’m in pain, but I can move a little.” It was difficult trying to detect where her voice was coming from so I spoke out, “Where are you?” “I’m in the next room; I’m going to tap on the wall so you can find me.” And as she stated, she did just that. She was to the left of me adjacent to where I lay. “How do you know my name?” I asked. “I heard Jesús and another guy speak your name while they were attacking you.” “Who?” I asked. “Shhh there coming, whatever you do don’t let them know you’re woke act as if your still asleep!” she whispered, as I heard voices entering.

Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle...

Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H

Delusions and Hallucinations? (Part 18)

We hear tires screeching as a vehicle pulls off, followed by police sirens chasing after it. “Oh my god what was is going on?” I asked. “I don’t know I’m calling Vincent.” But before she could make her call there was a knock at the door. “Maybe that’s him I did hear a siren pull off after the car.” When Latoya answered the door it wasn‘t Vincent… “Are you guy’s alright?” It was Kevin, “Yeah we’re fine!” “Lucy? What are you doing here?” Kevin asked. “I should be asking you the same question?” “Why am I detecting some bad vibes here?” Latoya says. “No bad vibes just bad people!” I stated. “Hold up, why do you have to be so negative all the time, you act like somebody trying to do something to you!” he says. “Kevin! Why do you think you’re here!?!” I yelled. “As much as I love to watch reunion shows, why are you here? Latoya asked. “We caught one of the two perpetrators that busted your window, detective Puerile asked me to come in and inform you.” “Oh my god Vincent is out there?!?”

Latoya left out to talk with Vincent, which left me and Kevin alone. “So how you been?” Kevin asked. Sometimes I wonder about Kevin he’s a police officer and seemingly clueless as to his surroundings, I felt a need for sarcasm to answer his question. “Well let’s see I suppose I’m doing okay if finding out that all the guys in my life are sick and twisted is normal.” “I’m not sick and twisted, I‘m hurt that you would think that of me,” he replied, “Kevin you were…” “I know! I was living with someone. I heard it a million times Lucy. That relationship was already over before I met you; I was in the process of leaving just being lazy about moving until I met you. I wanted to tell you, and every time I had the chance to, you would look at me and smile. Lucy, you elevate my mood and it lifts up my spirits. Telling you would be like getting cursed just after you’ve been blessed. Lucy I fell in love with you and I wanted nothing but to keep you happy. I know how you felt about people who cheat; I just want you to know that I never cheated on you. My belongings were still at her home, but I wasn’t, you received that phone call from her because she was upset; I moved on. She heard how serious I was about you.” At that moment I realized, this was the first time Kevin conversed with me and was sincere. The one thing that no one knows about me is that I have a soft side for people who are sincere, it really irritates me when people take other people for granted but there is something about someone being sincere and when a person is honest with you, it's sincere and fairly easy to recognize. In my dream Kevin was just that, he is showing the same body language and sincerity now as he was in my dream. Then he says to me “Lucy I need you to know not everything is as what it seems to be by the eye. Did you check the bag yet?” Thrown off by the statement made, I was sort of confused. Check the bag? “What bag?” I asked, for a second he sounded like Latoya, so he reiterated “The black satchel?” “What tha? Kevin why do you sound like Latoya?” And in a blink of the eye, I see Vincent and Latoya standing over me “where’s Kevin?” I said. “Who’s Kevin?” Latoya asked. “Kevin, Officer Harris?!?” I stated. Then Vincent replied “Lucy, I don’t know of any officer by the name of Harris.” “What! he was just here, he came in after the bag was thrown in…” and in just that second I saw no bag, no glass, no evidence of glass being broken, what I did see was the dream book on the floor, which I was reading before dosing off. “Lucy, I’m starting to worry about you.” Latoya said.


Want to read more? Buy the book on Amazon or Kindle...

Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXIJ474/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_rIlNtb0HPKN1H